I Saw You

Orignial Post: April 26, 2013

In honor of our 15th Wedding Anniversary next week…

Watching you read to the boys

Snuggling with our almost man child, neck precariously braced against the wall

Dog child confidently staking claim across your lap

Tired eyes straining long after aching flesh stopped begging for sleep

Peering through hated glass that commemorates a clock ticking too fast

And change.

I saw you

Intricacies as if my own after almost two decades

Lines near knowing eyes belie your heart’s deliberation

Wine-tinged breath escaping between Tolkien’s words

Feelings incomprehensible. Invisible

Dashed idealism

Broadsided by holiness

And deepest sorrow

With greater love.

I saw you

Yearned to fall onto your grieving body to smother and erase and counterbalance

Flesh whispering that all will be okay

All will be okay.

But I am not a liar

Or a prophet

And so we wait for the sacrosanct unfolding

Together

Because I, too, am seen.

Kourtney Street