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40 Before 40

April 4, 2011 By admin 3 Comments

Since imitation is the highest form of flattery, I am blatantly flattering my dear friend Tara by composing a list of forty things I want to do before I turn forty. Take a minute to check out Tara’s amazing blog. She’s the inspiration behind the facelift of mine.

Okay, so here goes. In no particular order, the 40 things I want to do before I turn 40. If I don’t get them all done, it’s okay. But I love lists. I love goals. I love growing. I reserve the right to add or delete. In the spirit behind those four things, I offer the following:

1. Read the Bible in 90 days.

2. Climb a 14er in Colorado with my family.

3. Finish my last 7 seminary courses.

4. Return to the weight I was when I met Rich.

5. Teach all 3 boys to read.

6. Complete a Sprint Triathalon.

7. Apologize to VH and KK.

8. Take a cooking class with my Mom at the Sante Fe Cooking School.

9. Tackle our photo armoire and make a plan for how to save our family memories.

10.  Finish raising our financial support and stay at 100% consistently.

11. Consistently write thank you notes within a week.

12. Attend the Macy’s Day parade with my family.

13. Birth a book club.

14. Develop the discipline of exercising 4 days a week.

15. Find houseplants that I enjoy. Keep them alive.

16. Tour the White House.

17. Take the boys to Washington, D.C.

18. Plant a spring vegetable garden with the boys.

19. Learn more about gardening.

20. Take a cake decorating class.

21. Decorate Christmas Cookies with Bette and Mom.

22. Take a Turkish cooking class at the Turkish community center.

23. Complete a Daniel fast.

24. Visit Bishop Cox in Tulsa.

25. Have a girls weekend with Ronna.

26. Keep our home clutter free.

27. Visit Uncle Mike’s new home in Portland.

28. Attend my 20th reunion and celebrate the amazing people that I grew up with.

29. Participate at least 2 times a year in events, trainings, or conferences that inspire me to grow.

30. Date my husband at least 2 times a month outside of East Orlando.

31. See Ellis Paul in concert again.

32. Do Roundtop with Ann

33. Take my vitamins everyday.

34. Keep battling fear.

35. Take my boys to the Comal County Fair

36. Go to Weihnachtsmarkt with my Mom

37. Memorize the book of Philippians as a family.

38. Learn to make gluten-free sourdough bread.

39. Call my siblings at least once a week.

40. Take a Word Press class.

Filed Under: Marriage, Ministry, Miscellaneous, Motherhood Tagged With:

The Closed Hand in the Jar

April 1, 2011 By admin 6 Comments

When I was twelve my sweet mom had a stroke. She was 39. When I was 32 my little sister had a massive brain bleed. She was 29. On Wednesday, I turned 37.

True confession? I’ve been internally bracing myself for my turn.

Last Monday, at my annual check up, I told my wonderful doctor about a nagging noise in my ear. She asked four times if it was a pulse or a woosh. I told her it had rhythm. This classifies as a pulse.

FYI, doctors prefer a woosh to a pulse.

Her gut is that it’s a problem with my allergies and ears, but she ordered an MRI and an MRA to rule out an aneurysm and a tumor. I cried. Our dear friend Bob, a gifted neurologist, called and concurred with her evaluation and the tests. I cried again.

Monday morning, Rich will take his claustrophobic bride of almost 13 years to Florida Hospital for a moderately sedated MRI and MRA. We’ve talked a lot. I’ve cried a lot. Are you seeing the same pattern that I am? There are A LOT of tears this week.

Tonight, in tears again, on the couch of a trusted friend, I listened to wise words from a woman who has walked with Jesus much longer than me. Her counsel?

1. Thank God. No matter what. This is a non-negotiable for her. Thank you God that you are allowing the depth of this fear to surface. I want to learn to trust you with this.

2. Imagine myself taking the yoke off and rolling in onto Jesus. I’ve been carrying this fear around for 25 years. It’s time to give it to the only person who can really do something about it.

3. Be honest with God. He can handle it. God, I am sad that this is part of my story. I wish that I trusted you more. I don’t know how to get rid of this fear. Will you rescue me?

4. Consider that this situation is like putting my hand in a glass jar, closing my fist, and then trying to pull my hand out of the jar. What am I holding onto so tightly that I am stuck? God, thank you that you love my husband and children more than I do. Thank you that your plans for them are even better than mine are. Please help me to open my hand and to entrust them to you more fully.

I look forward to Monday afternoon when the test is over. But more than anything, I look forward to honestly giving thanks for all things to a God who can handle all of me and help me open the clenched fist containing my fears and my burdens.

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